Whisking Through the Airport of Life
During a recent call with a beloved prayer partner, a clear image of her whisking through an airport dropped into my mind. She will be starting a new job soon, and her prayer request was to be mindful of not taking on too much and only doing what is hers to do in this new role. So what did this airport visual have to do with her request?
Well, I saw her pulling just one simple carry-on bag. You know, the kind with swiveling wheels that allow the suitcase to glide effortlessly in any direction. She moved through the airport with ease and grace, no extra baggage or responsibilities weighing her down.
I don’t know if this image was helpful to my prayer partner, but it has definitely stayed with me. Many of us walk through “the airport of life” carrying far too many bags. We take on responsibilities that were never ours to carry, often without noticing. We just feel heavier, tired, or a little resentful, without fully understanding why.
Sometimes we take on more than our share by trying to manage other people’s emotions. We work hard to keep everyone happy or comfortable, stuffing our true feelings to avoid upsetting anyone. Or we slip into the role of “fixer” or “rescuer,” jumping in to solve problems that weren’t ours to handle or offering advice and solutions when we weren’t asked. As a 9 on the Enneagram, I have fallen into both of these traps.
We might take on other people’s expectations, trying to be what they want us to be instead of who we came here to be. We confuse compassion with responsibility and convince ourselves that caring about someone means carrying their pain. Or caring about the world means getting upset about everything we see in the news. We pack extra stress in our suitcase by trying to control things over which we have absolutely no control. That doesn’t mean we don’t support our loved ones or work to make things better, but we will be much more successful if we remember the one thing we do have control over: how we respond in any situation. Can we stay peaceful, kind, and grounded?
One of the most common ways we take on extra baggage is by saying “yes” when we mean “no.” We usually do this out of guilt or the fear of letting someone down, but then we end up with responsibilities that don’t belong to us simply because we didn’t honor our authentic selves.
Here’s a helpful lesson that I’ve learned in recent years. Just because I can do something doesn’t mean I should do it. Now, before I say “yes” to a request, I check in with Spirit to see if that “yes” is truly the highest choice for all. Does it ultimately feel peaceful? I imagine myself in both scenarios. Sometimes it seems easier to say “yes,” but when I picture how I’ll feel while doing the task, it feels anything but peaceful. Other times, not honoring the request feels worse, and the highest choice really is to agree. This kind of discernment takes practice, but it does get easier.
So as we close this year and head into a new one, I’m going to keep that airport image in mind. If I start to feel like I’m carrying five suitcases through a terminal, it might be time to unpack a few bags and examine what no longer serves me. My intention is to take only what fits in that snazzy new, easily maneuvered suitcase into the New Year. I hope this image is helpful for you too.
If you’d like a companion to help unpack some of those bags and explore what’s inside, I would be honored to support you with a series of Spiritual Coaching Sessions or a Private Family Constellations Session. Both can reveal surprising beliefs or patterns that no longer serve you. Now is a great time to do this work so you can jettison those extra bags before the New Year! Please explore my website for more information or to book a session. You can also purchase a gift certificate for any of my services for a loved one.
Until next time, may you whisk through the airport of life carrying only what is yours to carry.
It is not up to you to change your brother, but merely to accept him as he is. Any attempt you make to correct a brother means that you believe correction by you is possible, and this can only be the arrogance of the ego.
A Course in Miracles ~ T- 9.III.6:4/7:8