Dolphins, Dead Fish, and the Stories We Tell

Last week I wrote about looking for signs and messages from Spirit, and how doing so has made my life much more joyful and fun. Well, something happened this week that reminded me there’s another variable in the equation. When we see a sign, do we perceive it through a filter of fear or of love? 

Many people talk about bad omens and superstitions. Oh no! A black cat crossed my path. That’s bad luck! Or, There’s a hurricane coming on my wedding day. Maybe it’s a sign that we shouldn’t get married. We can make up a story about anything. In truth, everything is just a story. But the question is: which ones do we want to tell?

The other morning on my walk, I saw a dolphin swimming in Sarasota Bay. It always brings me joy to see dolphins, and the story I tell myself is that dolphins are a sign that more joy is on the way. That thought alone makes me feel good.

About forty-five minutes later, as I was doing my cool-down stretches by the water’s edge, I noticed a large, dead fish floating right in front of me. That sure didn’t seem like a good sign for the rest of the day!

In that moment, I realized I had a choice: do I focus on the dolphin or the dead fish? I decided to acknowledge the dead fish, but keep my thoughts on the joy of the dolphin.

Every day, we have the same choice. Do we focus on what brings us joy or on what drags us down? Things will happen that we don’t like. Sometimes there will be “dead fish” floating in our experience. If I’m coming from fear, I might take that as a bad omen or imagine something terrible is about to happen. But if I choose to see with the eyes of love, I could interpret that floating fish as a sign that something that no longer serves me is coming to an end. Which story is more helpful and peaceful?

One of the greatest gifts I’ve received from studying A Course in Miracles and Family Constellations is understanding that my experience of life is shaped by the beliefs I hold and the stories I tell myself. Do I see the world as a scary, dangerous place? Do I keep replaying stories of how I was wronged, keeping myself stuck in victim mode? Or do I choose to believe that, despite what we often see on the news, people are inherently good and that life supports me? When I become intentional with my thoughts and choose a more empowering story, my entire world begins to shift.

This is exactly what happens in a Family Constellations session. We don’t deny what happened, but we create a safe space to explore family dynamics and see them from a broader perspective. We uncover unconscious patterns that may have been repeating for generations. Then we can hold a new story. One that feels better and more true. Now our heart is open to peace and new possibilities.

Many years ago, I saw one of the funniest examples of how powerful our stories can be while watching a hilarious episode of Bob Newhart’s second TV sitcom, Newhart. Readers from my generation might remember in that show he and his wife ran a charming little inn in Vermont with a delightfully crazy cast of characters.

In this episode, his wife, Joanna, woke up furious with him because he had done something awful—in her dream! It hadn’t actually happened, but because that was the story in her head, she treated him as if it had. It made for a hilarious episode, though not a harmonious day for the characters. How do you atone for something that didn’t happen? (A Course in Miracles teaches that this is always the case, but that’s a deeper conversation best explored in our weekly online study group. Join us on Tuesdays if you can!)

I still remember Bob Newhart’s character defending himself with this classic line: “Gee, I’m fine in other people’s dreams!”

It’s such a perfect reminder that the stories we tell ourselves shape how we experience life—and how we treat others. How many times have you made up a story about why someone hasn’t called? Maybe you assumed they were upset with you and even replayed the scenario in your head, only to learn later that it had nothing to do with you. I’ve certainly done that numerous times!

I stand by my recommendation to keep looking for signs. And when you see them, tell stories that make you feel hopeful and inspired. If a story brings up fear or despair, you can be sure it’s coming from the ego and is not helpful. When I experience something upsetting, my go-to prayer is:

Spirit, please help me see this differently.

Inevitably, a new thought arises that shifts my perception from fear to love—or at least brings me back to peace. That shift rarely changes what’s happening, but it allows me to return to my “right mind” and hear clear guidance on how to proceed. And then I feel better. Spirit is always willing to help us see things in a way that will feel helpful and hopeful. Even when things are not looking good or unfolding how we’d like them to.

If you’d like some help seeing things from a new perspective, it would be my great honor to assist you with a series of Spiritual Coaching Sessions or a private Family Constellations Session. Look around my website for more information and to schedule a session. I look forward to creating miracles with you!

Until next time, may you tell empowering stories that make you feel good whether life brings you dolphins or dead fish.

What the world is, is but a fact. You cannot choose what this should be. But you can choose how you would see it. Indeed, you must choose this.

A Course in Miracles ~ M-11.1:9-12