The Message Your Ego Doesn't Want You to Hear
This week, I’m sharing a message that your ego definitely doesn’t want you to hear. It’s not what most of us have been taught and it makes the logical task-oriented mind very uncomfortable. But after the initial resistance, I trust this message will be a big relief! Read on if you’re curious and courageous. Or click here to watch the video version on YouTube with the bonus gift of a short guided meditation at the end.
Similarly, I often close my Spiritual Coaching sessions with a short guided meditation or prayer. During a session last week, a client referenced a beautiful forest in our conversation, so I incorporated imagery of tall strong trees into the closing meditation. The words and energy that came through me during that meditation created a strong visceral feeling of being safe and supported in the forest. That feeling stayed with me long after the session ended.
It was so powerful that I thought of changing the wallpaper on my laptop to an image of a sacred forest so I would have a visual reminder of the experience. I must have gotten busy doing other things that day, so I never circled back to that thought.
Two days later, I noticed that a software upgrade that I thought I had installed was still waiting in the System Settings on my laptop. My MacBook Air wanted me to upgrade to the new Sequoia Operating System. Can you guess where this is going?
I was about to roll out my yoga mat after answering a few emails when I saw that notification. I clicked the upgrade button so it could install while I did my practice. When I powered up my computer later that afternoon, it rebooted with the new operating system. Lo and behold, my wallpaper had been magically transformed into a beautiful forest of sequoia trees!
The sequoia image was gorgeous and precisely what I had in mind. The fact that it showed up just two days after that meditation felt like a wink from the Universe. It also demonstrated the message of the meditation. I am safe and supported in so many ways.
Perhaps the most significant part of this story is that I didn’t make the change happen. Yes, I clicked the upgrade button to initiate the process, but I didn’t search the internet for images of sacred forests, choose one, and then consciously change my wallpaper. That would have been a perfectly reasonable course of action. And it would have produced a similar result.
However, how it happened was a great reminder that sometimes we just need to trust and let things unfold in their own time.
The ego wants to plan everything step-by-step from A to Z. It thinks that’s the only way to get what you want and where you want to go. But when I look back on my life, I see clearly that there’s no way I could have planned the path that brought me to my present happiness.
The best opportunities, biggest blessings, and most miraculous connections have seemingly happened “out of the blue.” I was simply following guidance that put me in the right place at the right time. I invite you to take a moment to think back on your life. Perhaps this feels true for you too.
As I ponder this concept, the first thing that comes to mind is my first Big Sky Retreat in 2014. While looking at a flyer for that event, I got a strong feeling that I was supposed to be there. It looked like fun and a great opportunity to see a part of the country where I had never been.
I shared this with my friend and mentor, Dr. Charles Geddes, who had been part of the retreat since its inception in 1976. With his help, guidance, and lots of prayers, the resources showed up and Charles and I traveled from Ft. Lauderdale to Big Sky, Montana together.
(Unfortunately, 2024 was the last Big Sky Retreat, but you can join Charles and me at the end of April 2025 for a new spiritual retreat called A Time to Deepen. This 5-day event is happening at Spirit in the Desert outside of Phoenix, AZ. Click here for more details.)
What a gift that decision turned out to be! I met so many wonderful, heart-centered people there. Some of them are my best friends and prayer partners today. Being part of that community helped me build confidence in myself and my work. The soul connections I made there provided numerous opportunities to share the work I love around the country. The Big Sky Retreat blessed my life greatly and opened more doors than I can count.
Of course, that wasn’t my plan. But I do believe it was part of the Divine Plan. That leads me back to the idea I want to share today. The one that the ego isn’t going to like. I don’t believe we make anything happen. Instead, we make space for things to happen. What do I mean by that?
Let’s use a gardening metaphor. If I want to grow delicious vegetables, I need to plant the seeds in nutrient-rich soil where they will get plenty of sunlight and water. If I plant those seeds in a sandbox and place the sandbox in a dark shed, I won't get the results I seek.
The same is true if I want to experience a joyful and peaceful life. My mind needs to be fertile soil when those seeds of inspiration drop in. I do that by being in what A Course in Miracles calls my right mind or a miracle-ready state of mind.
I’m in my right mind when I listen to the voice for love. That voice tells me things like, “You’re worthy. You’re enough. Everything is working out for the highest good. It’s not too late. Things are unfolding at the perfect time. All is well.”
Meanwhile, the voice for fear keeps me in the ego thought system by telling me, “You’re not good enough. You don’t deserve this. You did something wrong. You’re guilty. You missed your chance. It’s too late for you. Don’t bother. Just stay where you are. Change is too risky. Blah. Blah. Blah.” It’s relentless!
Seeds of inspiration that fall in the ego thought system will have a difficult time taking root and growing. If I’m in my right mind, I am open to receiving guidance and able to act upon those seeds of inspiration. What a relief to know I don’t need to figure out the whole plan. I just need to know the next step.
Most of us have a habit of listening to the voice for fear because it wants to keep us safe. But it also keeps us stuck. Going out past our comfort zone can be scary, but that’s where the miracles happen. With practice, it gets easier to let the ego thoughts pass through, focus on the voice for love, and follow its guidance.
To the ego, this is blasphemous. It wants us to figure it out. It says, “Just sit down for 5 hours and make a plan for your life.” In my experience, it doesn’t work that way. That’s why I have replaced the phrase “I’m going to figure it out” with “I will let it be revealed.” When I catch the first set of words trying to come out of my mouth, I grab them and say the second set instead. Then the pressure is off my limited perspective and I can return to inner peace!
“Letting it be revealed” doesn’t mean I sit on my couch and never take action. I had to click the upgrade button. I had to sign up for the retreat. I had to get on the airplane and fly to Montana. But I truly believe I didn’t make anything happen. I simply got in a miracle-ready state of mind, followed guidance when it arrived, and then watched miracles unfold.
This week, I invite you to stop trying to make things happen. Instead, make space for things to happen. If you would like assistance in hearing the voice for love and its guidance, it would be my great honor to help you with a series of Spiritual Coaching sessions or a private Family Constellations session. Both can help you get in a miracle-ready state of mind. Please look around my website for more information about these opportunities and to book a session. I look forward to growing miracles with you!
If there are plans to make, you will be told of them. They may not be the plans you thought were needed, nor indeed the answers to the problems which you thought confronted you.
A Course in Miracles ~ W-135.23.2-3