A Decade of Miracles (Part 2)

One of my favorite places to facilitate Family Constellations was the annual Big Sky Retreat in Montana.

Last week I shared how I was introduced to Family Constellations in the Fall of 2012. (Click here to read Part 1) At my first workshop, I had a profound healing experience that would forever change the way I moved through the world. When the event was over, I asked Michelle, the facilitator, how one learns to do this work. She smiled and replied, “I would be delighted to teach you.” 

Michelle had trained with two excellent teachers in New York City who studied under Bert Hellinger, the man who created Family Constellations. As I mentioned last time, Michelle was passionate about sharing this work as evidenced by the amount of workshops she hosted in her home. If I remember correctly, she facilitated at least three or four Family Constellations workshops every month. 

Eventually, Michelle created the Family Constellations Institute of Miami so she could begin training those of us who were interested in becoming facilitators. I was fortunate to be in that first training group. We gathered at Michelle’s apartment to learn the basic philosophies and concepts of Family Constellations. It was a safe environment to practice the skills we were learning through group exercises and role-play. I loved our training sessions!

At that time, I was working for myself as a Licensed Massage Therapist, and I conveniently lived just 2 miles from Michelle. I was able to arrange my schedule so that I could attend practically every workshop Michelle facilitated. This set of circumstances felt like Divine Orchestration. Family Constellations is an experiential modality, so there is no better teacher than experience!

Each workshop attracted an interesting assortment of people. Some groups were small. Some large. I began to notice that when the group was small, extremely sensitive and personal issues often came up to be explored. It’s as if the Knowing Field (a Family Constellations term used to designate the sacred space where we do the work) knew that it would be difficult for a person to be vulnerable in a large group. 

In large groups, one or two universal themes emerged so that everyone could connect to what was happening. Time and time again, I witnessed unbelievable “coincidences” in the Knowing Field. We would discover that a representative had the same name as the person they were representing. Or they would have similar if not identical life experiences. It was often a jaw-dropping moment when roles were revealed. There was no denying that something beyond us was happening, and it happened on a regular basis. 

I quickly learned there are no accidents in Family Constellations. People cancel at the last minute or simply do not show up. People who had no knowledge of Constellations would feel the nudge to attend when they heard about it from a friend who was going. It was always the perfect group and there were always astounding connections. That’s still true today!

As part of her newly formed organization, (now called MOSAIC the Movement) Michelle invited her teachers to come to Miami to facilitate workshops. I learned so much by observing the way Suzi Tucker moved gracefully through the Knowing Field, checking in with each participant like a butterfly visiting every flower in a garden. Suzi has an amazing gift for selecting the precise words that will be most impactful and empowering to those seeking relief from recurring family patterns.

I also learned a great deal from another of Michelle’s teachers, Mark Wolynn, author ofIt Didn’t Start with You. He used to travel to Miami every year in December for a two-day immersive workshop. Watching Mark select who to work with based on stories they shared gave me insights into how to phrase questions that would elicit the most informative answers. I still use tools and techniques I observed during those powerful events. 

Several months into my training, Michelle sometimes gave me the floor to facilitate a constellation or two during her workshops. That was a sign of trust I did not take lightly. However, I was not expecting that day in June of 2013 when Michelle declared, “I think you’re ready.”

What? Wait! No. I’m not ready to start facilitating my own workshops. I still have so much to learn!

Although that was true, what Michelle said was also true. The best way to accelerate my learning was to jump in and start doing them. Many years ago, I heard a spiritual teacher say:

“At some point, we need to stop reading other people’s books and write our own.”

I wish I could remember who said that but whoever it was, that idea has stayed with me. Not that we all have to write a book, but eventually we need to step out and put into practice what we are learning. And make it our own.

So, with some trepidation, I contacted my friend Todd and asked if we could schedule a Family Constellations workshop in his gorgeous yoga studio. Honestly, I can’t imagine a better place for my first event. I’ve had a deep brotherly soul connection with Todd since a mutual client introduced us. Facilitating in the studio where he did his healing work just felt right. It was the perfect sacred space for my inaugural event. (It also helped that Michelle was there if I needed assistance!)

On the last Saturday of June 2013, a small group of my friends, friends of friends, and Todd’s yoga students gathered in his studio. I felt mostly good about how the constellations unfolded, but, of course, some doubts crept in. Afterward, I consulted Michelle to see if she saw things I might have missed. She gave me a few suggestions on what I might explore next time, but I’d say my first event was a success simply because I did it! And I’ve been doing them ever since.

Perhaps there is something in your life you’d like to do, but fear and doubt are keeping you stuck. It would be my great honor to walk with you and support you with a series of Spiritual Coaching Sessions or a private Family Constellations Session. Both can help identify patterns and beliefs that do not serve your intentions. Together we can shift and release them, allowing you to start moving forward again.

Please look around my website for more information or book a session with my automated scheduler. Thanks to technology, we can connect no matter where in the world you are. I look forward to helping you take that next step!

This week, consider the possibility that you might already be ready to jump in and start doing the thing you’ve been longing to do.

Readiness, as the text notes, is not mastery.

A Course in Miracles ~ M-4.IX.1:10