A Dream of Forgiveness
Have you ever had one of those dreams that is undeniably your unconscious mind working out some stuff while you sleep? I had one of those last weekend. In the dream, my mom was still alive and she was quite inebriated. If you know my story, you know this would not be unusual for my mother. However, I seemed to be reliving the moment when I discovered she had fallen off the wagon after a long stretch of sobriety shortly after moving to Florida. Both then and in the dream, I was devastated. In the dream, I could feel my frustration and anger building as I shared the upsetting news with my brother.
As happens in dreams, time was not linear. Suddenly, I was watching various moments throughout the last years of my mother’s life. Specifically, times when I lost my patience and said or did things that were not kind were on display. Reliving these events all at once caused an overwhelming wave of guilt and remorse to wash over me. In the dream, I began to sob profusely. My pillow wasn’t soaked when I woke up, but it would not have surprised me if it had been. Those emotions felt very real.
My mother has been gone for almost 11 years now. I’ve done a lot of inner work since then, but I know that dream helped me release yet another layer of sadness and guilt that had been lurking in my unconscious mind. There are always more layers of that onion to peel. I’m grateful to A Course in Miracles and Family Constellations for helping me understand that I did the best I could with what I knew back then. If I want to experience more peace, love, and joy in my life, I need to let go of the guilt and forgive myself for the past, knowing I would do things differently today.
Is there something you are having a hard time forgiving yourself for? Maybe it’s too painful to process in your waking hours. It might be helpful to ask your higher self, guardian angels, or loved ones in Spirit to watch over you at night and help you release anything that no longer serves while you sleep. When you’re ready to try it during waking hours, please reach out for assistance. I would be honored to walk with you on your healing journey with a series of Spiritual Coaching Sessions or a Private Family Constellations Session. Both are excellent ways to give the forgiveness process a boost. Look around my website for more information and to book a session.
May a host of heavenly angels lift any heavy thoughts up to the clouds tonight while you sleep peacefully.
All your time is spent in dreaming. Your sleeping and your waking dreams have different forms, and that is all.
A Course in Miracles ~ T-18.II.5:12-13